How's Your Love Life?

Epiphany 6A
In the Name of God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Well, today is Valentine’s Day; the day on which men all around the country will be expected to buy flowers, candy, jewelry, and anything else so that they may prove their love and demonstrate that they are indeed, romantic. Men, I hope for your sakes, that you are ready! Don’t make the mistake that some have made, by purchasing seat covers, pots and pans, or a new ironing board for your beloved on Valentine’s Day!

We don’t really observe Valentine’s Day at our house. That doesn’t mean that Pattie and I don’t love each other, or that there’s no “romance” in our life. Quite the contrary! We just feel that Valentine’s Day has become nothing more than just another day for people to spend money they don’t have, on things they don’t need, in order to convey the simple idea of “I Love You.” Just because we buy someone a box of candy, or a new bracelet, does not mean we “love” them. If we truly love our wives, husbands, girlfriends and boyfriends; and we really are “romantic,” wouldn’t we be better served to show that love throughout the entire year, in a thousand different ways – both big and small – instead of jumping through all kinds of hoops set up for us by stores and shops, in order to make a big splash on just one day of the year?

For Pattie and me, every day is essentially Valentine’s Day; because every day, our love for each other grows more and more. We show that love to each other all the time; and even as busy as we both are, we try to foster as much “romance” as we can. When we do go to a restaurant, we will sit on the same side of the booth, so we can hold hands. Many times, I’ll pack a lunch for Pattie to carry to work, and I’ll write a little “love note” on a napkin, or she’ll do the same thing. I still open doors for her, still help her with her coat, and still pull out her chair at table, even at home for supper. Sometimes we will buy each other a little gift, or a card, and place it somewhere where the other will “find” it and be surprised. Sometimes we’ll just sit together on the porch, or on a bench in the yard, watching the birds, holding hands, and not saying a word with our mouths, but speaking volumes with our hearts; or we’ll just take a walk, picking up sticks and leaves along the way, and talking about our dreams, goals, and ideas of life.

In the same way that Pattie and I show our love for each other, and even maintain that “romance” in our relationship, so it should be in our relationship with God and with others. In today’s Gospel Lesson, which is a continuation of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus makes some rather stringent and difficult statements. He rehearses part of the Law and Commandments, and then places upon the hearers of this Sermon an added dimension which, at first, seems rather harsh and hard; but which in reality, bespeaks this idea of the condition of our hearts. In these commandments and the application that Jesus points to, we see the fundamental idea of everything Jesus showed us and taught: Love God and Love each other. By observing these two Great Commandments, and making them a part of our thinking and living, we then reduce the risk of violating any one of the individual “Commandments”.

My friends, just like society’s view of Valentine’s Day, we could approach our relationship with God by making sure we have our chocolates, flowers, cards, and jewelry, and show up for this special day or another. In doing so, it becomes a shallow, sorry, and perhaps cheap display of our so-called “love” for God. Conversely, we can choose to live in that love and show that love each and every day, all year long. We would include God in our dreams, plans, and ideas. We could spend time just talking with God, or just sitting in the silence and beauty of His Creation. This is real communion, and real spiritual “romance,” if you will.

The same is true in how we interact and demonstrate our love for others. If we truly understood what Jesus was saying, we would have an entirely different approach to our world. We would live in such a way as to not do injury or hurt others. We would be more forgiving. We would be more tolerant. We would be more understanding and patient. We would be less selfish, and we would recognize our duty to care for others since they are reflections of the great God and Creator. In short, we would apply the Golden Rule in everything we do.

True Love, just like a garden, must be encouraged, cultivated, watered, fed, and even weeded from time to time. This is true in our romantic relationships, and it is true in our broader relationships with others, and with God. When a couple first “Falls in Love” – its all moonlight and magnolias. You remember those days of long ago, don't you! He’s was a prince and she’s was a queen. Everyone was polite, courteous, caring and careful; but then, something dark and sinister happens after the wedding. He turned into a loud-mouthed bossy so-and-so, and she turned into a whining and nagging so-and-so! How does this happen? What changes the prince into a loud-mouthed, bossy so-and-so, and the queen into a whining, nagging so-and-so? Simply, by neglecting each others needs and wants, by becoming selfish, by becoming too comfortable and complacent, by taking each other for granted, and by failing to cultivate, encourage, water, feed, and weed the garden of their love. And we think, then, that after treating each other terribly through most of the year, that we can somehow make it all “OK” with a box of chocolates or flowers one day a year, and call that "love and romance!" How silly is that!

The same is true in our relationship with God. We must be careful not to be come so comfortable and complacent that we take it all for granted. We must be careful not to neglect our walk and communion with the great Creator who gives us life. We must remember that, while God certainly does love us, we must also be busy encouraging, cultivating, watering, feeding, and weeding the garden of OUR love for God, so that we may walk that much closer with him and enjoy the benefits, joys, and blessings that come from that walk. Don't adopt and apply the same Valentine's Day mentality to our walk with God, which may ignore Him and may be indifferent through most of the year, and then tries to "make it up" at Christmas or Easter. Let us cultivate our love for God, and for others, throughout the whole year.

On this Valentine’s Day weekend, let me ask you this simple question – “How’s YOUR Love Life?” Are you like so many in the world who, on this Valentine's Day, will go mad trying to convince God and others of your love with gimmicks and tricks, presents and promises, flowers and fluff; or will you commit yourself to truly loving God and loving others – and to genuinely showing that love each and every day, all year long? Will you practice patience, tolerance, and forgiveness, in the same way that we expect God to be forgiving, tolerant, and patient with us? Will you in faith, tend to the garden of your love for God and others, by pulling out the weeds of indifference and neglect, watering it in joy, feeding it in peace, and cultivating it with humility?

Let me encourage you to make every day, Valentine’s Day, with your husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend, and especially so with God.

(Preached at All Saints Chapel Free Catholic Church, Dinwiddie, Virginia. on 13 February 2011.
Copyright 2011 - Mark W. Leavell. All Rights Reserved).